And you know what the saddest thing is? If he asked me to, I would be there. I would give everything. I would love him all over again and get my heart shattered exactly like I did before. Because that's just how much I loved him.
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It has been years and there are still people who keep on asking about us. They ask me if we're still friends, they ask me how we've been and ask me if we still talk about things. I don't know but whenever someone tries to bring up the past, whenever someone tries to throwback what's done, my heart aches like you weren't gone. Guess that's how a heartbreak is supposed to be. You'll endlessly feel its entirety, the one that keeps on coming back with the intention of hurting you with the same feeling of misery. And no matter how much I avoid from its endless twinge, the pain will always come back just to hurt me again. It will come back to me as destruction, it will always come back to me like the storm.
It hurts. thinking, and I mean truly thinking you have moved on from a person. And you are thinking about them right now. Being able to actually go on with your day and finally smile without forcing it and it could be to months from now or in a few minutes or two years. But you see that person and you make eye contact for no even a second and it all rushes back. The tear, the laughs, the heartbreak, the broken promises, the I miss you's. Especially the I miss you's. And your heart stops. That, is truly one of the worst feeling in the world.
Today was the day that I found out you had met someone else. Breathing started to get a little bit harder and my vision became slightly clouded as tears started to well up in my eyes. But swallowing bile, blood, and a feeling I can't really name I smiled and said that I was happy for you. That of course wasn't a lie, I'm happy that you're happy but it just kills me that you couldn't be happy with me because I tried, I tried so hard to make it work but in the end you knew what you wanted and it wasn't me, it was her.
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